


Follow Me Down

by RedesignxRebuildxReclaim



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:27:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedesignxRebuildxReclaim/pseuds/RedesignxRebuildxReclaim
Summary: Deputy Clara Gibson had found herself thrown in over her head when she was asked to help arrest Joseph Seed. Now she found herself at the center of a conflict between the Resistance and the cult known as The project at Eden's Gate. The resistance looked to her to be their savior. The cult looked to convert her and "save" her. She wasn't sure what she wanted. Besides one thing; she knew she wanted John Seed to stop radioing her in the middle of the night





	1. Chapter 1

The whole thing was a terrible idea. She'd known it from the moment the Marshall had briefed the small team that would be moving to arrest Joseph Seed. That was two weeks ago when she'd reached Hope County. 

Now here she was, seated in the helicopter as they passed a giant white statue of "The father" Joseph Seed. Her stomach twisted nervously and she felt vaguely nauseous. 

She had been asked to transfer over to Hope County soon after finishing her training at the top of her class. At the time she'd taken it eagerly. She knew it would look good for advancement opportunities and they'd told her it would be a lot of adventure rather than a bunch of paperwork. 

She wished she could go back in time and smack sense into herself. There was adventure alright. Joseph Seed and his 'peggies' as they all called them had a stranglehold on the small mountain town. She had barely left the small police station they'd been setting the operation up in for the two weeks. Neither had the rest of her companions, the Marshall being the only exception.

He was far too confident. Or was projecting excessive confidence to mask his shortcomings. She had a gut feeling that was closer to the truth. She could tell Sheriff Whitehorse had the same opinion of the Marshall. 

They'd be lucky if they made it out of here alive. If they managed to actually take Joseph with them it would be no less than proof that miracles actually happen. 

She glanced down as they hovered over the compound. She could see large fires rising and falling in waves and it took her a moment to realize it was from blasts from a flamethrower. 

Hudson turned around, voicing that this was a bad idea, and Clara locked eyes with her friend. She'd grown close to Staci Pratt and Joey Hudson in the last two weeks. They'd been all each other had for the last two weeks and it helped them grow close fast. 

"Last chance Marshall." Sheriff Whitehorse sounded strained as he gave it one more chance to get him to turn this helicopter around.. Marshall Burke ignored him and gave the command to land the chopper. 

As soon as they'd stepped out of the helicopter Clara had found herself overwhelmed by the compound. She could hear the blasts of fire she'd heard raging from not far away. Dogs were howling and snarling from metal cages. And it smelled almost oppressively of wet earth and smoke. As they grew closer to the church she could hear muffled singing. It was the perfect eerie soundtrack to the nightmare that the compound was.

They stopped outside of the church and Whitehorse gave them their final orders and with that she had no more time to prepare. It was time. She reckoned she had a fifty fifty chance on making it out of here alive. Those weren't odds she relished. 

Her eyes took a second to focus in the dimly lit church but immediately fell on the figure standing at the front of the church. _There he was_. She felt transfixed as she took him in. 

She'd heard so much about Joseph Seed. She'd heard good things. She'd heard horrible things. But nothing had prepared her for his presence. Though he wasn't a physically intimidating man, he radiated intensity. 

He was preaching passionately to the members within the church, all of them as transfixed as she was. She couldn't help but stare curiously at the fact that he was wearing extremely low slung jeans, no shirt and large yellow tinted glasses. 

Clara's attention focused again as two men stood up from front pews and put themselves between the officers and Joseph. More followed quickly and it took everything she had to resist pulling out her pistol. Fear rose the hairs on the back of her neck. It was already devolving, and fast, and the Marshall wasn't helping by attempting to yell over Joseph's ever louder sermon. 

Joseph began speaking about how they were the locusts he'd warned them about and the crowd grew increasingly more hostile at his words. As the men circled their group and built a wall in front of Joseph two more men moved to either side of Joseph behind him. 

Her eyes flicked first to the one at Joseph's right side. She recognized him as Jacob Seed from a photo they had hung up in the station. He was even more formidable in person than the briefings could have ever properly captured. The man radiated warning as if he was a one person weapon. And if the stories were to be believed, he was just that. 

She averted her gaze quickly and glanced at the man to Joseph's left. She felt herself freeze as her dark green eyes met the sparklingly bright blue eyes of John Seed. If Jacob was more intimidating in person, John was somehow more beautiful. She'd heard endless rumors about the youngest Seed sibling. The women she'd come into contact with at the station had all spoken of how attractive he was, their compliments always followed up by how his beauty was only matched by his sadism. 

Seeing him in person, it was hard to believe the stories warning that the youngest Seed brother was the most monstrous. She didn't realize she'd been staring, and had been lost in those god damn blue eyes, until they narrowed and studied her back. She saw a small smirk play at John's lips and quickly snapped her attention back to Joseph who was now holding his wrists out to her.

"Cuff him Rookie." Marshall Burke commanded her sternly. Her eyes met Joseph Seeds and she felt her whole body hum with nerves. "God will not let you take me." The words were spoken calmly, almost peacefully. But she could hear the threat laced within them. 

She didn't want to cuff him. She wanted to leave there. And now. The followers in the church had been dismissed outside and her mind was dancing with a million and one bad ideas of what they could be getting up to out there while they were stuck inside with Joseph Seed and his three siblings. 

"Cuff him Rookie. Now!" Marshall Burke's voice snapped her to focus again and startled her into slapping the cuffs over Joseph's wrists. The next few minutes passed as if in slow motion. Making their way to the helicopter. Clara knowing she was the biggest target at the moment as she led Joseph to the helicopter. And then the helicopter screeching in warning as it plummeted to the ground after a Pegggie jumped into the propellors to attempt to save Joseph. 

She could hear muffled screaming from far away. She could feel the heat of the flames around them on her skin. It took her a moment to come to and realize the screaming was her, her loud shrieks of terror piercing the still of the night. 

It had been _weeks_ since Clara had found herself dropped into the flaming mess that was the conflict between The Project at Eden's Gate and the residents of Hope County, Montana. Weeks since she had been a part of that fateful attempt at arresting Joseph Seed. And she _still_ had nightmares that would wake her up out of a dead sleep thinking about it. 

Her mind wandered to the dream she'd just had again. The same one as always. She just relived it constantly. The sights, the smells, all of it. She couldn't get it out of her head. 

She smiled as Peaches nudged her with her big nose, offering up comfort to her obviously shaken human companion. "Thanks girl. I'll be okay." She spoke more to comfort herself than the mountain lion. She watched Peaches settle back into a nice sleep and sat up, propping her back against a tree and sighing. 

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep again for a while. She never could after that dream. Once again she found herself wishing she could go back to that day. Wishing she had just refused to put the cuffs on Joseph and had walked away. 

Deep down she knew she wouldn't have walked away though. She didn't know how to walk away from anything. She never had. Once she set her mind to something she had always followed through. 

It's why she was still here. And it was why she was able to get roped into being a large part of the resistance against Eden's Gate. She jumped as her radio crackled to life and expected to hear an update from Whitehorse. Instead John Seed's voice rang over her radio as if on cue. "Deputy" he practically sang out the monicker over the radio. When she didn't answer he drew her name out even more dramatically. "Depuuuuty. Are you awake?"

She knew she should switch the damn thing off. If Whitehorse or Dutch tried to get ahold of her and she didn't answer they'd likely understand if she told them why she had gone dark for a bit. 

But she had a weakness. She could not for the life of her ignore John. He was too much fun to rile up. He tried so hard to remain placid and cool on the surface, likely to impress his much more relaxed brothers, but she could see him for who he was. She could see that rage always bubbling just below the surface within him. 

She'd missed it the first time she saw him. She'd made the mistake of thinking he looked innocent and not nearly the monster he'd been made out to be. But as she'd grown more intimate with him in their time opposing one another she had seen the true John seeping out. 

"No. I'm not awake." She radioed back flatly. 

"Ah, you almost had me fooled too." John responded, his voice dancing with amusement. "I can't sleep Deputy. I was _so_ hoping you were in the same predicament." 

"Well, for the second time, I'm not. I'm sleeping just fine. So piss off now please." She spat back at him. 

"Where would the fun be in that?” John’s laughter crackled over the radio. “How about we play a game?"

"Does this game end in you leaving me alone? Preferably forever?"

"As if I could ever leave you alone." 

She rolled her eyes at his reply and released a deep sigh. At least he was honest about it. "Look. I'm going to say this as someone who is genuinely concerned. Not about you of course, but about humanity in general. You need serious help John. You should leave Hope County and maybe try that instead of this whole cult thing." 

The radio was silent for a few minutes, and she thought she had managed to piss him off enough to get him to temporarily leave her alone. 

"I'm touched you care about me Deputy. But I'm just fine." his voice finally came back, this time with a slightly colder edge to it. "So, about this game."

"I'm not playing a game with you."

"What if I say I'm bored and your friend's life is on the line? I don't like being bored." The second part seemed to be added as more of a dejected confession to himself than to her. 

That was enough to snap her to attention. "What do you mean by that?" 

"If you play a game with me I'll think about letting your little friend Hudson go. I've just about had my fill of fun with her anyways." 

"I'm not doing shit if you're just offering to think about it." Clara snapped back, her anger getting the better of her again. 

"There's that fire I love in you Deputy." John practically cooed at her over the radio. "God, I wish I could see the fire in those eyes of yours right now."

"That's funny I just wish I could see you _on_ fire right now." 

"You wound me."

"Unfortunately, that's not true." she pouted back to him. "So what do you say Deputy? You want to take the chance and see if you can free your friend?" John ignored her and shifted his focus back onto the game he so desperately wanted her to play. 

She knew she should say no. It was almost certainly a trap. A game with John Seed didn't sound like a game she should be lining up to play. And yet, could she turn it down knowing he'd given her a chance to save Hudson? She knew she couldn't. And she knew John knew as well. 

"What game are we playing?" 

"Oh, I'm so excited." John exclaimed happily. "I knew you'd come around. I'm thinking a game of strip poker at the ranch. When can you get here?"

"Oh, for fucks sake John. Go fuck yourself." She snapped at him and leaned back again with a sigh. Why had she even responded to him. She liked to annoy him sure, but it was always a fifty fifty shot over who would annoy who more. 

"I had to at least _try_." John whined over the radio. "Fine. Since you're boring we'll play a more traditional game. I'll place your friend Hudson in a heavily armed location. You can come alone and try to free her. I can watch with amusement." 

"That hardly sounds like a game."

"Well, it won't be fun for you. But it'll be fun for _me_. And that's what matters love." 

"Don't fucking call me love." 

"It's a term of endearment. Or so I've been told." 

"Yeah, well keep your stupid terms of endearment for your brainwashed cult members."

"You sure protest a lot for someone who's been chatting with me for close to thirty minutes now." 

"Yeah, well. I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know what else to tell you." 

"So are we going to play?"

"Whatever." She sighed. If Whitehorse knew she was even considering this he'd give her quite the talking to. But she didn't tell Whitehorse about a lot of the things she did. She knew he wouldn't approve of her constantly putting herself in danger to accomplish things for the resistance. But what else was she supposed to do?

"Ah ah ah. What do you say?"

"You're a sick son of a bitch John Seed." 

"Save the dirty talk for the bedroom Deputy."

Her mouth dropped open, temporarily at a loss for words to his lewd comment. "Is that what you're into? You like being degraded?"

"let's not talk about me right now. There's plenty of time for you to figure out what I'm into. All you have to do is come pay me a visit at the Ranch."

"You would love that wouldn't you?" She scoffed. "What would Joseph say?"

"There are ways of remedying sin. Plus, I'd rather ask forgiveness than permission."

"Well aren't you just the coolest, most rebellious-."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm Deputy." John snarled over the radio and cut her off. "Now are you playing the game or not?" 

"Yes." Clara gave in and responded with his favorite word.

"Perfect" John regained his composure, his voice crooning over the radio smoothly. "Hudson will be at the old production plant by the lake. I'll be watching from the safety of my ranch. Good luck."

"Go choke." She responded one last time before nudging Peaches awake. She heard muffled laughter come back over the radio before John spoke again. "Well, for the record, I _would_ be into that if you want to swing by on your way over and give it a try."

She could feel her face get hot and pink at his words and was glad he couldn't see her currently. She would die on the spot if he could see how his words had affected her. 

She was lost for a moment in that mental image before the radio crackled to life one more time, the loud noise startling her. "Oh, and Deputy. I do mean _alone_. If I see you with that god damn mountain lion, or that fucking dog I will order Hudson to be executed on the spot." 

"Peaches, girl, I have to go do something by myself. Go back to the jail and I'll come back for you." The cat tilted her head at Clara and growled as if she disagreed. "I have to do it. I'll be fine. Go on." Clara patted peaches on the butt and sent the lion on her way. 

She double checked her gear and set towards the old production plant. It had long been abandoned and taken over by John and his men, and it was rumored to be next to impossible to get into. 

It was definitely one of the most heavily protected outposts in John's region. She'd scoped it out a few times and had thought better of it. 

But she had to do this. Hudson had been her friend. She'd seen her in a few television ads John had been broadcasting and Hudson needed to get out. She looked horribly broken and beaten. If Clara risking her neck for John's amusement could potentially free her friend she couldn't miss that opportunity. 

"Hudson would do the same for me" Clara reassured herself, attempting to steady her nerves for this mission. _But would she_ she couldn't help the thought from creeping in. She could feel seeds of doubt every now and then. The work of John constantly pestering her over the radio no doubt.

Always trying to lay the seeds of dissonance into her for his brother. She always wrote him off. Telling him she knew they would all do the same for her every time he broached the subject.

She still remembered his response the first time she'd refused the idea. "Wow, you resistance folks are loyal." sarcasm had heavily laced his words and had the intended effect of riling her up. But before she could respond he followed it up with "Joseph and Jacob wouldn't risk their lives to save me." the admission had come out barely a whisper and had felt heavy with sadness. 

She hadn't even known how to respond. She refused to comfort John fucking Seed. But she had to admit the confession had made her sad. 

He'd let flashes of that sadness out here and there in spurts. Like his anger, she didn't think he was able to keep it all buried like his brothers seemed to expect him to. 

Eventually she'd responded with "Yeah, well sometimes real family doesn't care as much as a chosen family." and had felt oddly guilty about the dig at him.

She still believed that though deep down. And her gut told her Hudson would do whatever it took to help rescue her as well. Hudson was a soldier and had been one of her closest friends. Even if it had been only briefly.

She wouldn't let her fear and more importantly, John Seed, cast doubt on that and stop her from attempting to save her friend. 


	2. Chapter 2

Clara snuck to the perimeter of the old processing plant and used her binoculars to see what she could make out. She noticed five men in different areas along the side she was on. All pacing, and watching their areas like a hawk.

"Easy enough." She muttered to herself lining up her sniper rifle and dispatching each of them easily. "Is that all you're gonna throw at me John?" She felt a smirk play at her lips as she darted through the open field and slid into a patch of bushes. "At least try to make it tricky for a girl."

She jumped and grabbed hold of the second floor balcony and pulled herself up. She held out her pistol and glanced around herself cautiously. She slunk in and out of rooms, taking out men as she came across them.

Finally she heard cries in the distance and followed them to a larger room at the center of the plant. it was an open room with balconies along all the floors looking out at it. Likely where the main hub of the plant had been before it had been gutted out. And there was Hudson.

She was tied to a metal chair, purposely left without a gag to get Clara's attention no doubt. She spotted a few men on the floor around Hudson and assumed there were more she couldn't see, hidden by the balconies.

"What are you playing at John Seed?" the thought escaped her lips as she glanced around nervously. This was far too easy. She had seen this place guarded more heavily on other instances passing it by. No way would he clear it out for herand make it easier for her.

John loved seeing her suffer. There was something more going on here and she was failing to figure it out. The whole thing was sending her stomach twisting in nervous knots. She slowly made her way down the stairs and moved to sneak up on a peggie with his back to her, staring out at Hudson.

"Hey deputy. I'm just curious what's your favorite type of cake?" John's voice rang out loudly over the radio and Clara jumped out of her skin.

She watched with wide eyes as the peggie turned around and aimed at her. Thinking fast she shot him and slid behind a desk as more of them headed her way. "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." Clara swore under her breath. _Fucking John Seed._ She should have known better than to leave her radio on. The man was a bastard and a half.

"I think I like chocolate cake the best. Is that too boring do you think?" John's voice rang out again as she took out the rest of the peggies that had charged her. She grit her teeth and pressed her hand over a spot on her arm a bullet had grazed over, causing a deep gash.

"You're a fucking asshole John Seed." Clara growled into the radio.

"I just want to get to know you better Deputy." John's voice sounded back, full of over the top fake shock. "Indulge me so i know what to have should you ever need to stop by my place."

"For one thing that will never happen." Clara reloaded her gun. "And Second, yes, you're fucking boring."

Hudson's eyes widened as she saw Clara approaching her and she shook her head back and forth quickly. "Go Deputy! go! Get out!"

Clara felt her stomach sink. She knew there had to be something wrong. But she figured at this point she had to just keep going. "I'm getting you out." she yelled back, running and sliding behind her and cutting Hudson loose easily.

"You need to go." Hudson pleaded with her, weakly trying to stand up. "John is trying to-"

"Hudson, look at you. You can barely even walk" John's voice rang again and Hudson's eyes widened as she looked around them in a panic.

"It's my radio" Clara explained, trying to calm her friend. "I'm turning the radio off." she spoke into it angrily and twisted it off just as he yelled for her to stop.

"Come on, we need to go." Clara put an arm around Hudson's waist and helped her friend along as quickly as she could. She was trying to speak but the movement was already hurting her and straining her as it was.

"John is only trying to get you" Hudson finally managed to squeak out her warning as they made it through another set of doors. She was almost positive this was the way they needed to go, but she was starting to worry she was turned around.

"Don't worry. That's just his constant state of being. It's nothing new." Clara assured Hudson. Clara poked her head through another door and pulled them through when she verified it was clear.

"You don't get it, this is a trap." Hudson protested again. "He's got something planned. I know how much he wants you."

"This is _obviously_ a trap Hudson. But I'm not passing up a chance to get you out of here. I can deal with whatever John throws at me." Finally she found an exit and rushed them through it, doing her best to run as fast as she could while bearing most of Hudson's weight.

Just as she got into an open patch cars drove out and surrounded her from different sides. she counted at least four men in each car. John had them surrounded.

"Fuck." Clara swore in a huff. She quickly switched her radio back on and called out to Whitehorse. "Whitehorse come in. Now!"

"Whitehorse here, go ahead Dep."

"I broke into the production plant to get Hudson. We're surrounded. Get here asap. I'm going to try to get us out of here but Hudson is banged up. We need wheels."

"We're on our way Deputy. Try to hold them off."

Clara switched over to the station John always contacted her through. "John, you win." she spoke slowly into the radio. She met the eyes of the peggie ahead of her who had a rifle pointing at her head. "You win this round John. But Hudson needs help."

She didn't know why she was trying to reason with him. John Seed likely didn't even know what the emotion pity was, let alone how to take pity on her friend. After all, she needed help because he was the sick fuck that had been torturing her for weeks now.

She swore loudly in response to his radio silence.

"Come on John." Clara gave in and pleaded with him. "We both know Hudson isn't who you want. Make a deal with me. I played your game and let you have your fun, now make a deal with me." She was about to yell at him about his sudden silence when he finally responded.

"I'm listening."

"Let Hudson go. She can wait here for the Sheriff."

"Sounds great." John replied, "For you guys. What exactly am I supposed to get out of this?"

"Me." Clara replied quickly, her voice resigned to the choice even as Hudson begged her to stop. "I will surrender and let your men capture me with no resistance. I'll take her place as your prisoner."

"And what is to stop me from just taking you both right now. Whether you come willingly or not?"

"Come on John." Clara pleaded, attempting to make her voice sound huskier and more flirtatious. "You said yourself you're bored of her. Just let her go. If I come back less banged up it's more of a fresh start for you."

She felt sick to her stomach. She was attempting to convince a man it'd be more fun to torture her if she wasn't already injured. This is what her life had come to.

"You're mine deputy." John's voice purred over the radio. "I can't wait to play with you." The words sent a chill through her. She knew only partially what he was capable. But what she knew was horrific.

And now she'd agreed to serve herself to him on a platter. "Promise me Hudson will be okay." She pleaded with Joh, allowing genuine emotion to seep into her voice.

"I told my men to stand down and that you will come willingly. Leave her where you are and walk forwards with your hands up. Don't try anything or she dies."

Clara set Hudson down and gave her a tight hug as the other woman begged her not to do this. As soon as she stepped away from her friend she watched as a red sniper's laser trained on Hudson's head.

Clara raised her hands over her head and slowly approached the group. She slowly lowered her hands forward and held her wrists out for them as they held handcuffs up for her to see.

She got a flashback to her cuffing Joseph in the church and wondered if John had planned this for that reason. He probably did. If she knew John at all by now, she knew he loved to be over the top.

They slapped the cuffs on her tightly and tossed her into the bed of a pickup truck. Halfway through the ride she glanced around, trying to see if she had anywhere to run if she jumped out of the truck bed. She might be able to make it to the tree line. But with her hands cuffed it would be hard to get far, and she would be helpless against Peggies or wildlife.

Plus, it might lead to Hudson being hurt back at the processing plant. She couldn't risk it.

She was stuck. Worse than that, she was now at the whims of John Seed. She was his prisoner.

She thought of the last time he'd held her captive. The way his blue eyes lit up with cruelty as he spoke of wanting to inflict pain after pain on her.

"Damn it Deputy. You never told me what your favorite cake was. I guess chocolate will have to do." John's voice danced with excitement. "Don't feel as if you need to answer now. I know you're a bit tied up."

Clara sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. She didn't know if being forced to listen to John's awful jokes or being actually tortured by him was worse. Unfortunately she had a feeling she was going to find out all too soon.

She forced her way to sit up as the truck pulled up to a gigantic house. And there he was, leaning on one of the pillars outside his ranch. Despite it being the middle of the night he was dressed to the nines in tight dark jeans, a button up and a tight vest.

The wide smile on his lips sent a chill through her. It was the smile of a predator looking at prey.

John slowly made his way down to the truck bed and thanked the two men that got her out of the truck and pushed her in front of him. "Deputy" John spoke softly, his eyes lazily taking her in. She recoiled from him as he reached a hand up to trace her jaw and his eyes lit up.

With a quickness she didn't expect he grabbed her by the throat, his hand pressing down just enough to be uncomfortable but not painful. She saw that anger flash over his features, bubbling up again just below the surface.

"We're going to have so much fun." John held her gaze as he squeezed harder, cutting off her airflow and then loosening up again. "Welcome home deputy."

"This will never be home." Clara choked out as he squeezed her air away again. John smiled at her, everything about him calm as he studied her.

"We'll see about that." She cried out in pain as John laid into her side with a hard knee. "Take her to the bunker." He pushed her back over to his men. She stumbled to the ground, gasping for air as John smiled down at her. "I'll see you soon deputy."

She wanted to say something witty back. To prove to him that she wasn't scared, even though she was terrified. But she couldn't stop attempting to desperately suck in breaths after having the wind knocked out of her by his knee. Before she could recover he was back in the house and a man was covering her nose and mouth with a rag.

After that, everything was black.


	3. Chapter 3

Clara felt like her head was going to explode. She had started to come to, only to realize she was in an unrecognizable dark room and handcuffed to a hard metal chair. Her brain also felt like it was about to rip into a million different pieces. 

That's when she remembered why she was in a strange dark room and tied up. She'd allowed herself to be caught by John Seed. She hoped Hudson had made it back okay. She couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find out. 

She heard whistling growing closer out of the darkness and the bunker was suddenly lit up. She forgot she was chained to the chair and attempted to shield her eyes, crying out in pain as her wrist jerked unnaturally. 

John laughed and didn't bother hiding the smile her mistake brought to his lips. "How are _you_ doing deputy?" John greeted her, sadistic grin lighting up his face. 

"Oh, I'm great. My head feels like it's going to explode. So I'm doing great." 

"Well, lucky for you, I brought you this." John held up a pill and smiled at her. He held it out and motioned for her to open up. Clara scrunched her nose up as she tried to inspect it and see if she recognized the pill.

"I'm not going to poison you for fucks sake. What fun would that be for me?" John rolled his eyes at her. "It's a Vicodin. It'll help take the edge off of that chloroform hangover you've got."

When she still hesitated he shoved the pill in her mouth and she gave in and swallowed it. "Did you really have to chloroform me?" she snarled at him, her eyes narrowing in anger. "I was already here."

"You didn't need to know where this bunker is located. Precautions had to be taken." John shrugged. 

"Next time you should look into this really cool new invention called a blindfold." 

"Knowing you, you'd have some way to track where we go even then." John smiled as his eyes roamed over her appreciatively. "You're quite the pain in my ass."

"Glad to be of service." Clara smiled at his insult.Clara looked up at him and met his eyes when he didn't speak for a few minutes. 

"What should I do with you deputy?" John walked over to a cot across from her in the bunker. With a dramatic sigh he laid back and covered his eyes with his arm.

"Are you going to sleep?" Clara wrinkled her nose up in confusion. "Are you going to bore me to death?"

"That's much too slow." John replied, not bothering to remove his arm from over his eyes. "You need to think within the grey areas more often Deputy. You're either rushing things or drawing them out too long. Find the mid point."

"Thanks Obi Wan." Clara took the opportunity to look around her while he covered his eyes. She noticed he learned from his last mistake and she was chained to a chair without wheels this time. It was also made of metal and the least comfortable chair she'd ever sat on. 

"I think we should start off with some knives and work our way up." John finally broke the silence as he thought aloud. "We'll build you up to the good stuff."

"Sounds great" She shot back. "We don't want me having too much fun right away after all."

"My god. I wish I could cut your fucking tongue out." 

"Then who would you bother for conversation in the middle of the night?" Clara knew she shouldn't be provoking him when she was tied to a chair and at his mercy. But like always she could only stomach so much of John and how extra he was before she needed to make comments back. 

"I'll still bother you, I just won't have to listen to your stupid fucking comments all the time in return."

"I think you like my comments." She replied. He removed his arm from over his eyes and turned his head to glare at her. "Otherwise you wouldn't do it so often."

"Don't flatter yourself." John rolled his eyes at her and sat up. "You know, you are right about one thing. I _don't_ want to cut your tongue out."

"I knew it." She eyed him as he crossed over to a table in the corner of the room. "You love my comments back to you. I definitely think you have some kind of kink for being insulted." 

"Keep talking" John leaned on the table and motioned for her to continue. Clara's stomach dropped nervously and she finally gave up and decided to fall silent. "No? You're done now?" He waited, eyebrow raised expectantly, and when she didn't answer he picked up a large hunting knife. "Okay, my turn then. I _don't_ want to cut your tongue out. It won't be nearly as fun to play with this knife if your screams are muffled." 

Clara stiffened and pressed herself back against the chair as far as she could go to put distance between them as he crossed the room back over to her. "What's wrong? No witty comments about that?" John leaned forward, his face only inches from hers once again. He pressed the flat side of the knife along her jaw and traced it down her neck to t-shirt. 

She cried out as he slashed the knife down and let out a breath of relief when she felt nothing and saw he'd only slashed open her t-shirt and then torn it open the rest of the way. 

"Get your hands off of me" She flinched away from his touch as he reached out and traced his fingers over her wrath tattoo he'd given her. John quickly latched his hand around her throat, pressing tight enough to restrict her breathing. "You're not going to speak to me like that. Nod your head if you understand."

"Sorry" she croaked out, straining against his hold "I don't speak dickhead." 

John struck her hard across her jaw with the hand clutching the knife and her vision greyed out as the punch rocked her. Her eyes adjusted and got less blurry and she took in his large grin. "You love making it harder for yourself" he sounded pleasantly surprised. "It only makes it more fun for me you know."

John ran his fingers through her hair, pushing it out of her face and reveling in her squirming to get away from his touch. 

"You know deputy, you had to have known something was wrong in the production plant." John ran the tip of the knife up her abdomen and then back down again slowly, the blade grazing her bare skin and sending nervous chills over her skin. "And yet... you didn't bother rethinking your plan or debating whether or not you should continue. Why is that?"

"I had to get Hudson away from you. No matter the risk. You'd had enough fun at her expense." Clara admitted the truth. "I knew it was a bad idea. But I had to try."

"Hudson and I barely had any fun." John pouted. "She just couldn't take that much, it was quite disappointing. She seemed so tough. But she had nothing on you." His eyes locked on hers, making her uncomfortable under his intense gaze. 

"You're _really_ sick in the fucking head John." Clara groaned and tried to shift to a more comfortable position in the awful metal chair. 

"I'm trying to help you Deputy. I'm trying to help everyone." John set the knife down on a small end table. He leaned on the wall next to the table and studied her, his gaze lingering over her. 

"This is the only way to truly be free. I have to pull this confession out of you. Only by shedding your sins and going through pain will you ever be allowed to be truly free." John sounded robotic and distant as he recited the lines. She noticed the far off look his eyes took on as he explained it to her and wondered who had told him that before. She would have bet money the words weren't John's own. He spoke too passionately when he was channeling his own ideas. 

She had never seen him look so distant before, and it was more than a little unsettling given her current predicament. "That definitely sounds fake." 

Her comment brought John back to the present and his eyes flashed with rage. "You'll see Deputy. We have nothing but time for me to show you." John moved towards her, knife in hand and straddled her lap, his full weight pressing down on her. Her legs were pushed painfully against the harsh edges of the chair below her and she squirmed in discomfort. "Don't move Deputy, I don't want to get sloppy." 

She moved to fight him off and he used his free hand to grip her throat. "Don't struggle. You'll make it worse for yourself." John held her gaze. "This doesn't have to be as bad as I can make it." John's eyes softened and he let go of her throat, his hand grazing her jaw as he implored her to give in. "Just agree to atone. Say _yes_ Deputy. It's that easy." 

"Fuck you." Clara grit her teeth to cut back a scream as John dug the blade of the knife deep into her flesh and carved a line into the skin on her ribcage.

"Wrath may be your main sin Deputy. But your pride does you no favors." John licked his lips as he started carving the word pride into her ribcage. 

She bit back any pain the best she could, refusing to give him the satisfaction of her screams. She could feel sweat beading heavily on her forehead in her struggle to stay strong. "Why cling so tightly to that pride Deputy? Pride only serves to mask our insecurities. Let it go. Free yourself and open yourself up to your true self." John grabbed her face roughly and she could feel the warm blood from his carving smear onto her cheeks and neck. "Just say yes." 

"You know, you'd probably really like this guy named Daniel Bryan." She struggled to get the witty comment out through her pain.

"I appreciate your wit." John grinned down at her. "It's not helping you though." He shifted and exposed part of her right leg.

Clara screamed loudly in pain as John dug the knife into her thigh, slowly dragging it across and quickly soaking her jeans in blood. "I'll let you rethink your answer." John finally climbed off of her. She pulled back as far as she could to get away from him as he reached for her. John ran a hand through her hair and held her gaze. "I _am_ sorry to do this to you you know." 

"Yeah, you seem really broken up about it." Clara's voice betrayed how weak she felt. 

"All you have to do is say yes Deputy. Say yes, and I can start the cleansing and free you." 

"I'll never say yes to you, you sick fuck." She practically spat the reply at him. 

"That's a pity then." John pretended to be upset about it. "For you." he pointed the knife at her "It's not at all for me. It just means I get to keep you longer and have more fun with you." John gripped her face in his hand, clutching her jaw and smearing more blood all along her chin. "I'm going to have so much fun with you." His eyes held hers and a wide smile lit up his features. She was terrified he was going to kiss her when his eyes lingered over her lips but he stepped back and smirked. "I think you'll be okay without dinner tonight." 

Clara felt her heart sink as her stomach rumbled. She was already hungry, and now she had no idea when John would even feed her. "What if I have to use the bathroom?" 

"Scream and let us know. I'll have someone watching you that can assist you." John was already most of the way to the door but he turned to meet her gaze "Just know if you try anything you won't leave that chair again for the bathroom or anything else. I'll have you go right there if I have to." 

She knew better than to think he was joking. She wouldn't be trying any daring escape any time soon. She knew it was all about opportunity. Eventually John would slip up. That's when she'd make a run for it. She just had to hold strong until the opportunity presented itself. 

_Just stay strong and don't give him the satisfaction of showing your pain._ She repeated the thought in her head a few times, using the mantra to dull the pain coursing through her. Her leg and ribs throbbed with an intense heat and she could feel the blood still oozing from her wounds. 

_Just stay strong._


	4. Chapter 4

How long had she been down in this bunker? It felt like forever. In reality it had probably only been a few days. There was no real way to figure out time down here. There were no windows in the bunker to tell by light.

  
She also couldn't guess based on meals since they came whenever John felt like it. One small relief is he had been unshackling her when she was supposed to go to sleep. It made sleep somewhat easier when she could go lie down on the thin cot rather than trying to find a comfortable position on that god awful metal chair.

  
But every time he returned it was back to the chair. Back to being restrained, and possibly worst of all, back to being at the mercy of John.

  
She used the word mercy, but it didn't seem like a suitable word for him. She'd endured countless punishments for her refusal to give in to him and let him cleanse her sins away. He especially seemed to love knives. He spent the majority of his time with her finding interesting ways to use knives to draw the will out of her.

  
Today he was holding a small knife over a fire while he stared at her. "Just say yes deputy" John was speaking softer than usual today. When he'd come down he hadn't seemed like his normal self either.   
Usually he arrived, large smile on his lips, eyes twinkling with excitement. Always excited to figure out what more he could put her through and whether he could get her to scream or not.

  
But today he'd come down in a sullen and dark mood. It was etched into his face. Evident in the way his lips kept twitching, a deep anger threatening to spill over. And possibly even more so in his eyes. His eyes were flat today, no fire dancing in them like usual.

  
"I don't want to have to keep hurting you you know." He sounded... genuine? Clara studied the dark haired man curiously. The thought of him genuinely not wanting to hurt her was more than a little laughable considering what she'd been through so far.

  
"Yeah, you keep mentioning that. But the problem is that then you follow it up with some fucked up way to hurt me." Clara grumbled in response, "So you'll have to excuse me for not believing you.

  
"You keep refusing" John replied. His body wilted and he let out a deep sigh. He slammed his fist down on the metal table, his head hanging low for a moment before he turned back towards her. "If you would just give in it would be so much easier for you."

  
"I'm okay." Clara shot back defiantly. "I've had worse."

  
That got the rise out of John she had been intending. She saw fire flash below the surface of his blue eyes. He crossed over to her, burning hot knife in hand, and pressed the blade of the knife to the bare skin on the inside of her right arm. Her skin audibly popped at the heat of the steel and she let out a loud scream of pain. "John, stop, please." She gave up on being stoic as the blade seared into her skin, the handcuff digging into her already sore wrist as she did her best to relieve the burn of the hot blade. The pain was nearly blinding as he continued to press the blade into her arm, pressing harder as she struggled away from it.   
John took the blade off of her and threw the knife across the room. "Say yes Deputy!" His voice was a loud snarl, white hot anger getting the best of him. He grabbed either side of her face in his hands and searched her expression. She watched his anger melt away and he resorted back to the sullen mood he had been in before.

  
She cringed in pain and looked down at her arm. An angry red burn was already forming and a thin stream of blood was running down her arm onto the metal chair and the floor from where the tip of the blade has cut her open.

  
"Just say yes deputy." The words barely escaped his lips. John ran a hand through his hair and crossed over to the wall across from her chair. He sunk down to the ground, leaning his head back against the wall. "If you just give in it won't be so bad for you."

  
Clara studied the man who had held her captive and tortured her for what felt like an eternity. He didn't seem to even be speaking to her as he was repeating his just say yes mantra this time. He seemed far away, his eyes looking past her and not even seeming to take her in.

  
"Who taught you all of this just say yes shit?" The question escaped her before she had time to think about it. It had been plaguing her thoughts daily. He seemed so passionate about it, and yet he always seemed to dissociate and seem so far away when he would be preaching about it.

  
It caused the nagging question in her mind every time as to who had first broken John with this 'the power of yes' nonsense. She knew there had to be someone who broke him using it. He spoke too intimately about the pain being used to free her.

  
She assumed it had been Joseph. The man seemed calm enough, but she knew he would do what it took to further his cult and his ideas. Or maybe it had been Jacob. He was Joseph's good little soldier. He likely knew more than a few interrogation tactics.

  
Maybe Joseph had commanded him to use a few on their youngest brother.   
"That doesn't matter." John shot back defensively. "You don't need to know anything about me Deputy. This isn't about me, it's about you. It's about you joining us like Joseph's visions showed him and allowing me to help guide you to your salvation."

  
"Is the path to salvation usually lined with torture and abuse?" She allowed her anger to get the better of her once again and snapped at John.

  
"For some of us it is" He shot back. "You're like me. You need this."

  
"I don't need this." Clara argued. "No one needs this John. Literally no one."

  
"I needed it." The confession was shockingly calm and caught her off guard. She met John's eyes and saw the sadness she so often saw flashes of reflected back to her on full display. She hated the way her stomach instinctually twisted with pity at John's expense.

  
He didn't deserve any of her pity. And yet, she found herself struggling against feeling sorry for him constantly when he'd let flashes of his real self out.

  
She'd always had a big heart. If she had to pinpoint a weakness it was that she could get roped into anything if she felt like it could help someone. She'd always do what she could to help anyone. Even if it was at her own expense.

  
Which is exactly how she got roped into the resistance so easily. And it was why she found herself constantly feeling drawn towards John. John was probably the closest thing to a monster she'd ever met, and somehow he managed to play at her heart because she could see flashes of herself within him.

  
She knew that hollow pain and emptiness she saw in his eyes sometimes. She'd experienced it plenty herself. She still had to fight herself out of it every once in a while.

  
"You know... I was an awful child." She was pulled back to attention by John's confession. "I was always so soft. Jacob would always have to be my protector." His lips played at a small smile before it disappeared again. "It didn't matter if it was a spider he had to kill for me or the beatings he'd take for me to save me from my father's wrath. Jacob was always the one to step up and shield me. I can't even put a number on the amount of extra beatings he would take to save me from them."

  
Clara struggled for words and decided it was best to stay silent. She wasn't sure why John was giving in and telling her this but she didn't want to interrupt him.   
"Joseph did his best, he'd always try to calm our father. But often the alcohol wouldn't allow it and Jacob was the strongest so it always fell on him to be strong for us." John trailed off. His tongue traced his bottom lip and he let out a heavy sigh.

  
"Then I got taken away from my brothers." John looked empty, his face a careful mask of no emotion. "That's when I learned the power of yes. My adoptive parents, The Duncans, had to teach me. I was a horrible child. They discovered that quickly without my brothers there to hide my faults. And they made sure to do what they had to to fix me."

John hesitated, his eyes focusing across the room. Looking anywhere but at her. "One night they threw me on the kitchen floor. And I experienced pain after pain. And when I thought I couldn't take any more... I did. They freed me. I crossed an ocean of pain and emerged clean. Now I need to free you. It's what the father wants."

  
"John" Clara's voice snapped his attention back to her. He rose to his feet and crossed over to her with a startling speed. "I don't need any fucking sympathy from you Deputy." John snarled through clenched teeth. His hand knotted in her hair, pulling her head back to look up at him and meet his eyes.   
"I would never feel sympathy towards you" Clara shot back. She was lying and she had a feeling John knew it, but he surprisingly didn't press the issue.   
John let go of her hair and his whole demeanor shifted yet again. He studied her face, fingers lingering along her jaw as he took her in.

  
"What's your name Deputy?" It was the first time he'd broached asking her a personal question and she stiffened at the request.

  
"You don't need to know my name." She replied cooly, "Deputy works fine."

  
"Oh come on Dep" John's mood picked up at her refusal. "You know my name. It's only fair that I get to know yours."

  
"Everyone knows your name. You make sure of that."

  
"And yet no one seems to know yours." 

"Just how I like it."

  
"Don't make me torture it out of you Deputy." John replied, "Just play nice and maybe I'll let you be free down here all the time. Except for when it's time for me to work on you of course. We can't have you free when there's access to weapons."

  
"Wait, you'll let me be free down here? Like, I won't have to be strapped to this chair at all?" Clara perked up at the small olive branch he was extending to her. "Not just to sleep?"

  
"If you play nice... possibly."

  
She knew this had to be a trap, and that even more likely was an interrogation tactic to soften her up and then break her. But she couldn't resist this one. She was desperate to get these cuffs off for more than a few hours at a time. She had painful black and purple bruises circling her wrists. To not have to be tied down save for John's sessions with her would be enough to give her a sliver of hope that she could get out of this.

  
"Fine." She sighed as she gave into him. "My name is Clara."

  
"Bullshit." John let out a small laugh and smiled down at her. He shook his head at her slowly "At least try to make it believable Dep."

  
"What?" Clara scrunched her nose in confusion.

  
"Oh please. Clara? That sounds like the most obviously fake name I've ever heard. At least make an effort here."  
"Well it's not fake. It's my god damn name. I was named after my grandma." Clara glared up at him. "So if you want to have your spooky ass sister contact her ghost or something to confirm that have at it."

  
John's choked down a laugh and his a smile behind his hand. "You think Faith is spooky?" John gave in and dissolved into loud laughter. "She really is isn't she?"  
"I'm just glad she's the one out of the three of you who somehow makes you hallucinate her everywhere you go because I couldn't deal with you popping up all the time."

  
"Oh please, you'd love to see my beautiful face popping up everywhere you go."

  
"I'm going to take a hard pass. I see enough of you plastered on billboards everywhere I go."

  
"They are nice, aren't they?" John's smile lit his features up again.

  
"They're a bit of an eye sore if you ask me."

  
John bit his lip to hide a flicker of amusement at her comment. "Deputy Clara. The ever present thorn in my side."

  
"I do my best."

  
John crouched down in front of her so he was at her eye level. "I'm going to release you. Should you try to take advantage of this rare kindness you should know I have much worse methods of breaking you that I can employ and have chosen not to. I won't hesitate to move on to those if you make me regret this."

  
He spoke so calm and matter of fact that it sent a nervous shiver through her. "Do you understand Clara?" She noticed the way he lingered on her name. She nodded and watched with wide eyes as he removed a key from his jeans pocket and unhooked her handcuffs.

  
She felt an overwhelming wave of happiness wash over her at the feeling of having the cuffs free from her wrists. Tears burned at her eyes at the small sensation of freedom it offered her.   
She moved her wrists in slow circles, cringing at the pain the motion caused. John grabbed her arm, squeezing where he'd burned her earlier. "Don't make me regret this." John's tone was low and the threat was clear.

  
"I won't." She promised him. She did her best not to react to the way he was squeezing her arm. He dug his thumb into the cut and she cried out, biting her bottom lip to stifle her pain. "John, I promise I won't do anything."

  
He let go of her arm, pushing it down and sending her elbow into the metal of the chair. "We're done for today. I'll see you tomorrow."

  
She watched him pick up the knife he'd thrown and exit the room. Within seconds two cult members were in the room, clearing out the rolling metal table and any other items she could use as a weapon. And then she was alone again. Alone, but thankfully more free than she'd felt in who knew how many days.   
She massaged her wrists, ignoring how much it hurt, she knew John could easily change his mind within a few hours. She just hoped she could get a break from the cuffs long enough to heal her wrists slightly before he decided it was a fun experiment but she was more fun when she was miserable. 


	5. Chapter 5

Clara met John's blue eyes with a cold glare of her own. She could feel the warm blood smeared across her forehead from when he'd grabbed her hair to pull her attention back up to him. "Could you maybe wipe this blood off my face?" She grumbled. "It feels sticky and gross."

"Oh, don't be so whiny. It's just a little blood. You'll be fine." John replied flippantly. He picked up a small metal contraption off the table and she strained her eyes to see what it was. "You know, I think it's time we broadcast your main sin to the world. Let you wear that wrath for everyone to see." He pressed his foot on something and a familiar buzzing roared to life. 

"Don't touch me with that thing." Clara shifted uncomfortably in her seat. He'd already cut the word pride into her ribcage. She didn't trust him with a tattoo gun. Scars could fade, there'd be no easy way of fading bold black ink. 

"I know it's hard to accept our sins Clara. But once you do you'll feel so much more free." John whistled loudly two times and two large cult members came into the room and crossed over to her. 

They grabbed the heavy metal chair and pulled her over to where John had set up his table. After that they promptly left, leaving her and John alone once again. John searched her eyes, his free hand resting on the side of her face. "Let me help you Clara."

"Fuck yourself John." She spat back making sure to use his name like he always did to her now, her voice dripping with spite. 

"Fine, have it your way. But I'm beginning to think you enjoy the pain." He crossed behind her and put an extra strap around her waist holding her arms to her sides and pressing her back against the chair. 

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" 

Clara felt the hairs on her arms stand up as she could feel John's lips near her ear. "Yes, yes I would." he whispered the admission, his voice husky. She hated herself for the way his words affected her, sending her stomach flipping with nervous anticipation. 

Clara knew her cheeks had flushed pink at his words and she could tell by his small quirk of a smile that he had noticed as well. 

"This will go better for you if you stay still." John warned her, his voice smooth, almost soothing. 

"John" Clara protested as he unbuttoned her shirt half way, pushing it to the side and exposing her chest. She watched his eyes linger over her cleavage and he instinctually ran his tongue over his bottom lip before meeting her eyes. "Please don't. I don't want some fucked up tattoo."

"It won't be fucked up if you hold still" she could hear irritation creeping into his voice. "Just hold still and it'll be over soon." He grabbed alcohol wipes and cleaned off her chest just beneath her collarbone. His eyes flicked back up to her face and he sighed before wiping away the blood from her forehead with the wipe as well. 

John stepped on the pedal, bringing the machine whirring to life. She could feel the nerves twisting in her stomach, coming to life as he lowered the tattoo gun to her chest. She hadn't ever gotten a tattoo, but she'd thought about it plenty. 

She had always wanted one, but could never decide on what she wanted to get. Now she didn't really get a choice. She was getting her first tattoo and it was going to be broadcasting her supposed sin of wrath loudly across her chest. 

She shifted uncomfortably at the pain and bit her bottom lip as he switched to the shader and started to fill in the outline he'd written. John gave her a warning look that was enough to make her sit still again. "Don't tell me you'll be mad at me if I mess up your artwork." Her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

John shot her an icy glare. "I did most of my own tattoos you know. And all of Joseph's."

"Oh my god, you really do take this seriously." Clara burst into laughter which only made John's annoyance with her worse. "I was just kidding." 

"I'm going to tattoo the word bitch on your forehead if you don't shut up." 

"You would not. I've seen the way you stare at me. You wouldn't want to mess up my face." John opened his mouth to argue then closed it and scowled at her instead. She could see a small bit of pink flushing across his cheeks and reveled in the fact that she had actually managed to fluster John Seed. 

"Just sit fucking still or I'm going to figure out something terrible to do to you after this." John's words were ice cold. He'd clearly had enough of her sense of humor for the moment and she decided to stop for her own benefit. She had poked the bear so to speak many times in her time being held captive by him and every time she had regretted it. 

John finished the tattoo and taped a protective bandage to her chest to cover it up. "Someone will be in to uncuff you soon. I'd recommend sleeping on your fucking back and letting it breathe." John stood up and rolled his sleeves down as he glared at her. "If it gets infected I'm not helping you with it." 

"Thanks. The advice is very much appreciated." Clara rolled her eyes at him. "I'll do my best to take care of this tattoo I didn't want."

"Your sarcasm is always adorable Deputy." 

She always knew whether she had pushed John just a bit too far with her taunts by whether he referred to her by her name or went back to calling her Deputy. She had pushed just a bit too much again. John's jaw clenched as he looked over her one last time and without a word he turned and left. 

Sure enough, within seconds he had his two lackeys from before in to free her and clean out the tools he'd used on her today. She wanted to remove the bandage and look at what he'd done, but thought better of it. 

She genuinely didn't want to risk it getting infected and knew John was likely watching. If her peeling it back to look was some major slight to him she could find herself back in that god awful chair. And with the mood she'd put him into it wasn't worth risking it. She'd just have to wait to see her unwanted artwork.

* * *

Clara wasn't sure what time it was when she was awoken by the door to her cell creaking open. She never knew what time it was honestly, but it hadn't felt like nearly as long as she normally got between John's sessions. She rubbed sleep out of her eyes and saw John come into focus. He was wearing the same clothes as when he'd been tattooing her earlier, just minus a vest. 

Her eyes traveled to the strip of chest exposed by him leaving the top buttons of his maroon shirt undone as he always did. Without his vest, the shirt fell open a little wider and she could really take in his likely self inflicted carving of the word sloth that had then been carved to be crossed out. 

She sighed and started to get up so she could be tied down to the chair and John stopped her. "Just stay where you are. You're fine." The order surprised her and she shifted back into a comfortable position sitting up on her small cot. She wrapped the covers over her lap and took him in as the sleep cleared from her eyes.

John looked like a mess. Some of his dark brown hair had uncharacteristically fallen out of place and was hanging in his face sloppily and his eyes looked glassy. The way he swayed ever so slightly as he took her in gave more credence to her wondering if he was drunk. _What would Joseph think?_ the thought popped into her brain and she pushed it away.

She didn't want to risk making a stupid dig at him and having him snap at her. She'd never seen John drunk and wasn't sure she wanted to know how depraved he could get in this new state. 

"Are you okay John?" The question came out quiet, her nerves getting the best of her. She didn't know what to expect out of John on a normal day. She definitely didn't know what to expect out of John while he was drunk and the thought was more than a little disconcerting. 

He raised an eyebrow at her curiously, before his expression fell. "You're asking me if I'm okay?" laughter escaped him but there was no humor to it. "After the shit I've done to you, you care enough to ask if I'm okay?"

"I..." Clara trailed off and struggled to think of an appropriate answer. "I guess I do. Just because you're an asshole doesn't mean I'm going to be one."

"Why do you care?" John crossed the room and sat at the end of her cot, just a few inches between them. "You should be reveling in the fact that I'm a mess right now. Where are the witty comments? Shouldn't you be happy to see me like this? The man you hate so much is down here, disheveled and drunk and you ask if I'm okay."

"I'm not happy to see you like this though John. So if you came here for some extra punishment while you're down or something along those lines you won't find it. I'm not a monster." Clara sighed. "I may hate your guts but I'm not like that."

"I genuinely don't want to hurt you, you know." The confession slipped from his lips easily. "I just want you to give in and confess. I want to help you Clara. The Project isn't evil, Joseph does a lot of good." 

"The project isn't evil? How long have you kept me down here John? How many days or weeks has it been of you torturing me to convince me to join you?" The words spilled out of her now, her anger with him getting the better of her. "Because I honestly don't know. But I think it's been a while. And it's laughable for you to say your project isn't evil when you do stuff like this. You have to know that right?"

"I do what the voice told Joseph I had to do. I'm trying to save you." John's voice wavered, "The collapse is coming. Every sign the voice foretold has come to pass so far." 

"You _enjoy_ doing this John" Clara argued sternly. "You enjoy hurting people."

"I do enjoy hurting people." He nodded. "I'm not like you. Maybe I _am_ a monster. Joseph hates what I do. But it's what has to be done. I do what I have to to help. So does Jacob. We can't help it if what we do isn't as appreciated as what Joseph gets to do. Someone needs to get their hands dirty." 

"Sounds like you're trying to justify what you do if you ask me." Clara replied. She took in the intense pain etched clear into his features and reached out to him, slipping her hand into his and meeting his eyes. He instinctually moved to pull his hand away but hesitated and left his hand in hers, his eyes lingering on the way her hand held his.

She couldn't help but notice the way he studied her hand as if it was some new thing for someone to hold his hand. Maybe it was for him. 

She knew it was horrible for her to even consider holding his hand but he looked so... broken. She couldn't help it, she felt like it was something she had to do. She thought of pulling away, doing what she knew she should do and telling him to fuck off. Instead she laced her fingers with his own, ignoring the guilt that was gnawing at her, knowing she was holding the hand of the man who'd tortured Hudson and countless others, herself included. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"You have me held captive in some underground bunker. I think you can technically do whatever you want." 

" what's it like having people care about you?" The question was so far out of left field she didn't even know what to say to him. His blue eyes searched hers, waiting for an answer she didn't know how to give. 

"I don't really know" she trailed off, searching for words. "Its not really something I think about. And to be fair I don't really have that many people who care about me anyways." 

"You have the whole resistance practically worshiping you." 

"And you have a whole cult _actually_ worshipping you." 

"They don't worship me." He scoffed at the reply with a small laugh. "They worship Joseph." 

"And yet, you're the one who brings people in for Joseph." John paused and considered her statement. "John, the whole resistance doesn't worship me. I have some friends I've made through it. They've become family. There's just as many who hate me though within it." 

"I don't think there's anyone who would actually search for me if I went missing." The confession was hollow. She could tell he was purposely downplaying it, trying to contain any emotion he had. Trying to play at Jacob's game of being a good emotionless soldier no doubt. "If something happened to me and you or one of your resistance friends killed me, or I disappeared, I don't think Jacob or Joseph would even look for me. They'd write me off as dead and move on. Jacob would draw up a new plan and they'd move forward." 

"I don't know that I believe that." She was _comforting_ John Seed. What the fuck was wrong with her? 

She knew she should tell him to get fucked but looking at him, seeing that heavy sadness etched into his beautiful features, she just couldn't do it. She had to be better than him. She wasn't the type to rub salt in someone's wounds. Even if that's what she should want to do. 

"I think Joseph would tear this county apart trying to find you." She wasn't just trying to make him feel better, she knew it was the truth. Clara had spoken to Joseph a few times in her time here in Hope County. On every occasion he'd made mention of John. She had a feeling John was much more appreciated than he felt he was. Certainly by Joseph at the very least. She couldn't read Jacob. The tall red head was the most intimidating of the three brothers. 

"Your friends have been looking for you. Trying to figure out where I took you." 

"Yeah, well who's going to get rid of all your lackeys while I'm tied up. They want their soldier back, it's not about some deep friendship." 

"You offered yourself up to come and be my prisoner for that Hudson woman and it's not about friendship?" John seemed genuinely curious by the admission. 

"I'm an idiot remember?" Clara sighed. "I do dumb things for people that they'd probably never do for me. You're the one who made that observation remember?" 

"You did prove me right." 

"I sure did." She let out a heavy sigh. "And now here we are." 

"Is it really that bad being here?" 

Clara looked at John as if he'd just asked her if the sky was purple. "Don't make me give you an honest answer to that. I don't feel like being tied down right now." 

John pulled his hand away from hers and stood up. "I shouldn't have bothered you. I don't know what got into me." He ran a hand through his hair, attempting to push it back into place. "Get some sleep." 

She wanted to call for him to come back but immediately shook that feeling away. "You don't have to torture people to convince them to join The Project you know."

"I know, but it's so much more fun." She watched as John slipped his usual mask of confidence back on before her eyes, attempting to wash away the real John he'd just given her a glimpse of. He tried, but she noticed his words didn't match up, ringing hollow in his claim. "Goodnight Clara." 

"Yeah. Goodnight." she sighed in defeat. Why did she let John frustrate her so much? And why had she held his hand? She needed to get out of here. She was going to lose her mind stuck down here. If her comforting John wasn't evidence of that fact she didn't know what would be. 


	6. Chapter 6

Clara didn't bother moving from where she was lying down when John walked into her cell. She knew he would drag her up in a minute anyways to throw her back onto that fucking chair.

He had admittedly not been as bad in the past few days. He'd been surprisingly civil since that night he'd come down and talked to her when he was messed up. She'd honestly come to not mind his visits as much. It was better than being left alone and bored all day. At least it was when he was just talking to her and not using other methods of persuasion.

She jumped in surprise as he threw something down on her face and smiled down at her. "Get up, you're coming with me to go shower and get changed. Joseph is visiting you today." 

"Oh, so I'm supposed to get changed so you can pretend like you've had me living in luxury all this time? Great. Let's go." Clara sat up and gave John a dirty look. 

"Don't push your luck Deputy." John's voice held clear warning as he cast her a wide smile. "Now turn around so I can blindfold you." 

Clara did as he asked her to and spun around. "I see you're taking my advice at least."

"I can't chloroform you before Joseph comes to see you. You wouldn't wake up in time." 

"Lucky me." Clara shot back as he handcuffed her arms behind her back "And here I thought you were just suddenly going to be a gentleman." 

"Where would the fun be in that?" John purred next to her ear, sending a shiver through her. He slipped a blindfold over her eyes and tied it tightly. "Walk." John commanded, holding onto the cuffs and nudging her lower back. 

She listened and let him lead her through what seemed like an incredibly winding path before she could feel a cool breeze on her face. The sudden fresh air was a welcome, almost overpowering sensation, after god knows how long of being stuck in John's bunker. 

"Get in" John shoved her forwards, face first onto what felt like the back seat of one of the vans the cult would drive around Hope County in. She could hear the door slam shut from near her feet and the driver's side door open and close from near her head. 

"I don't think you throwing me down in your back seat is what Joseph had in mind for us John." Clara teased. She hoped it was even John in the car. For all she knew it was some poor cult member she was wasting her stupid jokes on. 

"You're ridiculous." John's familiar voice rang back flatly, but she detected a slight waver in his voice. Even when he tried, he was piss poor at hiding when she annoyed him. It was one of her favorite things to exploit. 

"Ooh, but maybe it  _ is _ what he had in mind" Clara continued. "What if this was some big test for you?" 

"I'd say I passed since you're back there running your mouth and I'm up here driving and doing my best to ignore your pointless chatter." 

"You don't sound like you're ignoring it. You sound annoyed." 

"Great detective work Deputy. I can see why the resistance appointed you as their leader." 

"I'm pretty amazing." Clara replied. She shifted herself so she rolled onto her back. She groaned in pain as the metal of the handcuffs dug into her wrists and lower back and quickly shifted onto her side instead. "Glad to hear you're taking note now as well." 

She heard him mumble something under his breath and couldn't help the satisfied grin from playing at her lips. "What was that John? I couldn't hear you."

"I  _ said _ Joseph is going to have to find someone else to preach to today because you're going to disappear." 

Clara burst into loud laughter and she could feel the stare John was giving her, blindfold or not. "You are so fucking infuriating." John complained. 

"You're the one who can't leave me alone last time I checked. I don't harass you via radio in the middle of the night or come up with stupid games to kidnap you." 

"You never say no to anything I do Deputy. How can I resist?" John's reply came back more insinuating than angry and she hoped the blindfold falling over most of her face hid the blush he caused. 

The car came to a stop and before she knew it he was dragging her back out of the car and taking the blindfold off. "You'll go inside and I'll uncuff you so you can shower and make yourself look presentable. Don't try anything dumb."

"I won't. I'll just be glad to shower" she admitted. She hesitated and a wicked smile played at her lips. "Are you going to have to watch me shower? Because that sounds like something Joseph wouldn't approve of." She knew the answer would be no, but the way his cheeks flushed red was exactly what she had hoped for. 

"If you ever  _ do _ join us you're going to need more than one cleansing" John grumbled under her breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I'll have guards outside the doors of the bathroom. I don't recommend any great escape attempts." 

"Got it." John lead her upstairs and opened a door to a large, extravagantly decorated bathroom. There was a large bathtub, as well as a separate large shower that had a built in bench and what looked like water spouts also built into the wall. 

John knew how to live. She had to give him credit for that. "Go on." I'll be down the hall. Don't take too long." 

"Can I take a bath?" She eyed the tub and imagined how nice it would be to soak her sore body in some scalding hot water. 

John sighed and shot her a pointed look but gave in and nodded. "Whatever. Just don't take forever. I  _ will _ come in and make you hurry up if you take too long." 

"Please don't do that. I won't take that long" Clara fought from rolling her eyes at him. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her. 

"I have a key" she heard John threaten from the other side of the door. 

"John if you barge in here I'm going to do what I have to to kill you." Clara yelled back. She gave the finger to the closed door. Her whole body practically hummed with excitement as she watched the water fill up. She'd had quick showers in a huge communal shower at the bunker but it was going to feel amazing to really get a nice hot bath to soak away some of the blood and grime of the last few weeks she assumed she had been captured for. 

The water was hot enough to elicit a sharp intake of breath as she lowered herself into the steaming water. But once she was submerged it was the closest thing to a religious experience she could say she'd had. 

She should tell John all he'd needed to do to convert her was let her take a hot bath. She couldn't help but giggle at the thought. He'd be so pissed off. Doubly so when she told him she was kidding and still wouldn't confess. 

When she was done with the bath she felt like a new person. She felt a lot more like her old self when she looked in the mirror and saw clean hair and presentable clothes. 

She was curious where he'd gotten the jeans and white v neck he'd given her. And even more curious how he'd known what size to get her. The jeans were slightly too big though, she'd lost a bit of weight in her time with John.

When she opened the door John poked his head out of a room down the hall and looked her over appreciatively. "Much better." 

"It's your fault I was gross you know." 

"Yes, I know." John rolled his eyes at her. "Stop whining." 

"You're the worst." 

"I've been told." John shrugged. 

"Is Jacob coming today also?" She thought she saw something flash in John's eyes at the mention of his older brothers name. 

"Why?" 

"I'm just curious?" Clara scrunched her nose in confusion at his sudden mood swing. 

"No, it'll just be Joseph." John's answer came out short and snippy. He grabbed her arm and lead her downstairs to a large couch. "Just sit down. He'll be here soon." 

"What's wrong with you?" Clara studied him as she got comfortable on the leather couch. "Why'd you get all weird when I asked about Jacob?" 

"I didn't get weird" John snapped back. 

"Totally. That sounds honest to me." Clara sighed and chose to ignore him. She could feel his eyes on her as she looked around the large room. 

He really did know how to decorate. Everything was perfectly placed and far too expensive looking for her usual taste. His ranch was the kind of place she would have been terrified to be in because knowing her she'd break something that cost more than her apartment used to cost to rent. 

"Your house is nice." She complimented awkwardly. She hated the weird lull of silence. She wasn't used to John being so quiet. Moody, always, but he was rarely quiet. 

"Thanks." 

She stared at him, fighting from rolling her eyes. "So uh... is there a reason you're suddenly so boring?"

"What?" John snapped a bit more to attention and met her gaze. 

"When are you ever this quiet?" 

"I'm just thinking." 

"Thinking of what?"

"Nothing I would feel inclined to share with you." John almost smiled at her pestering. "Just sit there and be patient."

"You're probably thinking about how Joseph is going to be mad at you."

"Joseph isn't going to be mad at me." John shot back. His voice sounded strained and she could tell by the way he shifted uncomfortably she'd hit the mark. 

"I'll tell him you finally talked me into joining." 

"Wait... what?" John snapped into focus and searched her expression. "Are you really going to let me help you reach atonement?"

"No. I just wanted to see your reaction." Clara laughed and John's eyes narrowed angrily. "You're an asshole." He mumbled, pulling out his phone and ignoring her once again. 

They both practically jumped out of their skin at a loud knock breaking the silence and tension between them. "Don't be a dick." John warned her with an icy stare. She nodded and he hesitated, studying her expression, before he got up and answered the door. 

Clara's stomach knotted as she took in the tall man. His hair was up in his usual bun, and he was wearing dark pants with a loose white shirt and vest. Every time she saw him she could understand how people would follow him. He looked warm, comforting, even friendly. But there was something to him. An edge she couldn't quite place, and that always made her nervous. 

Joseph's gaze lingered over her uncomfortably long and she shifted nervously under his gaze. "You look surprisingly well Deputy." Joseph glanced over at his younger brother appreciatively. 

"Yeah, well, you should have seen me before the bath I got to take today." Clara replied dryly, earning a warning look from John. "I'm kidding of course. John has been great." She spoke flatly and the smile on Joseph's face made it clear he understood her sarcasm. 

"Glad to see your sense of humor is still intact." Joseph walked over and sat in a large armchair to the right of the couch she was on. John followed and sat next to her on the couch again. "If you know of a way to turn her sense of humor off let me know." John replied. 

"John, please excuse us. I would like to speak with the Deputy alone." Joseph met his brother's eyes and John opened his mouth to protest and stopped immediately. "Yes, father." John agreed.

"I'll radio for you when you can return." Joseph commanded John, who just nodded obediently. She had to admit it was strange seeing John melt away into an obedient follower as soon as Joseph spoke. She felt herself stiffen as an all too familiar pang of sadness hit her. 

He really did just want to impress his older brother. It was so clearly written into every gesture and expression whenever Joseph was around. John didn't meet Clara's eyes before he left. He headed right for the door and slammed it behind him. 

She wasn't sure she liked being left alone with Joseph. As horrible as John was, and as much as he had hurt her, he was familiar. He was almost like a weird safety blanket or buffer between her and Joseph. With him gone, she felt all of her defenses rise back up. 

Joseph scared her on an entirely different level than John or Jacob did. He was so intense. And as much as his demeanor was soft and gentle most of the time, she couldn't shake that there was something below the surface terrifying about Joseph Seed. 

"Can I ask you how long I've been here?" She was desperate to break the silence. Joseph was just staring at her, trying to read her, and she hated it. "John hasn't told me."

"You've been here a little over two weeks." Joseph answered gently.  _ Over two weeks. _ It hit her like a freight train and she felt frozen in place. She knew it had felt like weeks, but to have it put into words was unreal. She had been missing for two weeks. Two weeks of torture at the hands of John Seed. 

John had said her friends had been looking for her, but if it had been over two weeks they had to be assuming she might be dead. She knew there had been no broadcasts of her like he'd done to Joey. He'd made it clear she was all his, and he didn't want her pain broadcast to anyone else. 

"Oh." was the only response she could come up with. 

"I... apologize for my brother Deputy." Joseph started with a sympathetic look. "I came here today because I had a vision that involved you."

"I remember. He has to reach atonement or he won't be allowed through the Gates of Eden. I was there." Clara replied. "But if you think I'm just going to leave all of the people I care about and join you lot, you're mistaken." 

"This was a new vision." Joseph's tone was heavy. "I saw John's death."

Clara felt a chill creep over her as her stomach sank. "Why would you tell  _ me _ about that." she heard her voice crack as she broached the question. She felt the hair on the back of her neck raise as dread filled her.

She'd endured so much in John's sessions, but she'd never felt as terrified as she did now. Did he have a vision of her killing John so he was here to get rid of her and stop that happening? She couldn't read him. His face was placid, and his eyes only revealed his sadness. 

"You're an important part of John's life or death Deputy." Joseph replied softly.  _ Oh god, he was going to kill her.  _ She started to inch away from him and scanned the room for anything she could possibly get to quickly and use as a weapon. "I'm here because I need to appeal to you. To ask you to help us." 

This pulled her full attention back to him.  _ He needed her help?  _ That certainly wasn't what she would have guessed would follow next. 

"I understand why you would be hesitant to help us Deputy." Joseph's presence was still incredibly soothing, which only made her nerves more on edge. He was the polar opposite of John. 

John was all bottled tension, and barely masked anger he played off with a wicked sense of humor. She didn't know what to expect from John from one moment to the next but she understood John. She couldn't get a grasp on Joseph, and every time she thought she had started to nail him down he changed. 

"I don't make any excuses for John's behavior. I could never condone the things I know he's done to you or anyone else. It's not what I stand for." 

"Then why wouldn't you do anything to try to stop it?" Clara shot back. "If you know what he's doing and you're complacent than you're just as guilty. If not worse." 

"I don't blame you for feeling that way." Joseph adjusted his signature yellow tinted glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose slightly. "But you need to understand. I don't idly watch and do nothing because I approve of it. But I have to let him change naturally. There's no other way." 

"The other way is making him stop torturing people." Clara argued defiantly. "You make him actually follow what you claim you believe." 

"John has to stop of his own accord." Joseph's voice changed, clouding with sadness. "Its why I needed to speak with you so badly todday. I had a vision about John not long ago. In it I saw his death multiple times. One he died young and one he got to live to an old age. The difference was how much love he let into his heart." Joseph's voice cracked with emotion.

"I've told him of my vision and he hasn't changed." Joseph met Clara's eyes and she saw the deep regret behind those yellow glasses. "I want my brother to grow old. To be happy. He wasn't always this person Deputy. John was the sweetest of us when we were children. He wanted nothing more than to just be around anyone who would give him attention." Joseph smiled at the thought but it quickly faded back to the heavy sadness that had been etched into his expression. 

"He's had a rough time in life. I can't go into it, that's not my place. But as his brother I failed him. I wasn't able to save John then but I want to right that wrong and save him now. I wasn't sure what could be done for him, but I had another vision last night and it's you." 

"What do you mean it's me?" 

"You are the difference maker. Deputy, you are the only one who can either find a way to help change my brother or you will be the one to condemn him to death." 

"No" Clara shook her head no vehemently. She had seen flashes of what Joseph had been talking about in John during her time as his prisoner. Flashes of his past, sneaking out in conversations. Flashes of the good he could be capable of. And flashes of the monster he fell into being far too easily. She was not the one to deal with all of that. "I don't want any part of this. I am not the one to save your brother. We're not on the same side Joseph. I'm not one of your brain dead cultists who you can assign to babysitting duty for your out of hand problem child of a little brother." 

"You don't understand me Deputy.  _ I _ didn't choose you. I should have seen this as obvious a while ago. But I didn't. The voice told me what will be. And one way or another you will be the deciding factor in his life." Joseph moved and crouched in front of Clara and placed a hand on either side of her face, his forehead touching hers. 

She stiffened nervously, wanting to shrug him away from her and put distance between them. "You and John have some kind of bond. I don't get it but it's quite visible. And you are also bonded by fate. If you don't help him you  _ will _ be the one to kill him Deputy." 

_ Her and John were bonded? There was no god damn way they were bonded. _ Even as she thought that she could feel in her gut how much of a lie that was. 

For better or worse, and it was definitely worse, she had in some ways bonded with John since he captured her. Maybe even before that in his annoying late night radio calls to her if she was being honest. 

"I don't want to have to kill him or any of you." The truth escaped her as the realization dawned on her. "I just want you to stop kidnapping people and doing bad shit."

"If you don't want to kill him then please help him. There's nothing more I can do but try to appeal to you to help my brother. I want to see John happy." She could see how genuine Joseph was being. "I want to see my brother alive Deputy."

She'd expected him to come and continue to harass her about joining the cult. But he hadn't even broached that or her atonement. He simply wanted her help because he'd had a vision that she could save his brother and he was desperate to make it happen, as anyone would be. 

How on earth was  _ she _ supposed to save John? John was an asshole. Sure, he'd started to grow on her a bit much to her displeasure. But the fact remained that he had held her in this bunker for close to two weeks now, and had tormented or killed many resistance members. Some of them being friends of hers. 

Could John be turned around? She wanted to believe people could change. But could John Seed actually change? Joseph's words ran through her head again. "He wasn't always this person deputy. John was the sweetest of us when we were children." 

John's words came to mind next. His monologue about the power of yes. His revelation about the night his adoptive parents took him into the kitchen and he endured pain after pain and when he thought he couldn't take any more he did. He'd alluded multiple times to how severe the abuse he'd endured was in her time spent here. 

She knew being abused didn't excuse what John was. And it would never excuse what he did. But she understood how that could shape you. It was clear he bore the scars of that abuse both physically and mentally. It came out in flashes or rage while torturing her and she had to wonder at times if the words he was saying to her were his own or ones he'd had spoken to him at one point in his life. She had a feeling it was the latter most times. 

Which brought her back to the current problem. Could she really help save John? Her gut said no. But she knew who she was. And she knew no matter how awful John could be that if she refused to try to help she would feel guilty about it. She was a fucking idiot.  _ Again. _

"Fine. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help your psychotic brother. But I'll do my best to help somehow." Clara gave in with a sigh. 

She was almost positive she was making a huge mistake. Possibly the biggest mistake of her life. And that said something considering the last mistake she made still caused her night terrors. 

"Thank you Deputy." Joseph took both of her hands in his and pressed a soft, ghost of a kiss against them. "I hope you're able to do more for him than I was able to." 

"Yeah, I hope so too." She agreed begrudgingly. 

"I'm going to make sure John lets you go today." Joseph released her hands. Clara stiffened at his words.  _ Was he really going to let her go? _ It seemed too good to be true and sent walls up immediately. She didn't trust any of the Seed family as far as she could throw them. And she couldn't throw them very damn far. "I apologize for what he's done to you and I hope you will seriously consider joining us. I've seen it and you belong in the Project." 

"You're going to make sure John releases me? Today?"

"His keeping you here is not the way to make you see where you belong. I'm sorry for what he's done." Joseph held her gaze and she shifted uncomfortably under his intense stare. "You belong with us Deputy. I see it in you. You're one of us. And I think you know it and are too scared to embrace it."

"Look, I don't know much. But I know I don't belong in your cult. I know the things you do. I could never belong with you."

"You know what we do, yes. But do you know what your Resistance friends do?" Joseph's words hung heavily between them and she found herself at a loss for words. "Ah, you don't do you? You're so keen to help out a cause you know nothing about. You let them use you as their tool of destruction and they get to sit back and enjoy. All while coming up with even worse things to do."

"You're lying. There's no way they could be doing worse than what you're doing." 

"You'll see it one day Deputy. We're not the bad guys just because we do what we have to." Joseph called to John over the radio and requested he come back. "One day you'll see it Deputy, and you'll join us when you understand."

Clara could tell John was in a foul mood as soon as he walked back into the door. "The Deputy will be going home today John." Joseph wasted no time making the big announcement to John, who was even more incensed by that news. Clara felt her stomach twist nervously as John's eyes met hers, fiery rage flashing in the depths of his blue eyes. 

"What?" John turned back to Joseph, bristling in anger. "Has she agreed to atone?"

"No, she hasn't. And this isn't the way to get her to. She'll be going free after I leave, and if I hear otherwise there will be consequences." Clara watched the two brothers nervously. Joseph spoke so calmly to John, even as he knew he would be stoking his younger brother's rage. John, for all of that anger, deflated as soon as his brother ordered him around. 

"I'm making progress with her" John argued weakly, casting his eyes down to the ground submissively. "You wouldn't go to Jacob's region and demand he stop using his methods." 

"If I knew his methods would not work on someone I would." Joseph replied sternly. Clara watched Joseph press a soft kiss to John's forehead. "She will be freed brother. Have faith."

"I do have faith." John nodded, eyes still locked on the ground. "Yes father. I will make sure she's freed immediately." 

"Thank you for talking to me with an open heart Deputy." Joseph crossed back over to her and took her hands in his once more. 

"You're welcome?" The response came out more of a question than she intended but Joseph didn't seem to mind. 

"When you do come to us we will welcome you with open arms." Joseph spoke softly. "You're not past forgiveness Deputy. Even with all you've done."

"Good to know." Clara replied as he let go of her hands and moved back over to John. He rested a hand on the side of John's face and leaned in, whispering something in his ear before leaving. 

John waited until he could hear Joseph's car pulling away down the gravel before he turned back to Clara and attempted to compose himself. "You heard him right? Get the fuck out." 

Clara met his eyes, her brows knit in confusion at the pain she saw once again. "John..." she started, finding herself at a loss for words. 

"Don't, don't fucking say a word." John warned her. He crossed the room to her in large strides and pulled her towards the door. 

"Stop it." She struggled out of his grasp and he pushed her outside of the door and onto the front porch, following behind her and shutting the door. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She snapped at him, grabbing her arm where he'd held her. 

"What did you two talk about?" John's voice dropped low with anger, and honestly scared her a bit. She wasn't about to tell him Joseph had asked her to try to turn John around somehow. She had a feeling that would not go over well with him. 

"Literally just about how I belong with you guys and The Project at Eden's Gate." she lied, "And he tried to tell me about how I don't know the real resistance. You didn't miss much."

"What did you say about what I did to you?"

"What? Nothing." Clara's brows knit in confusion. "We didn't even discuss that. He just said your methods aren't going to work on me so I needed to leave."

"That shouldn't have been his fucking call."

"John... your methods aren't going to work on me. You have to know that." Clara protested. "It's been weeks. I'd let you torture me until it killed me and I'd still say no as my final word to spite you."

Yeah, you're a pain in my ass like that." John agreed with a loud sigh. "Fucking go Deputy. Go back to your friends and go back to making our life a living hell." 

Clara met his eyes and felt rooted to her spot.

Why was she getting so melancholy about leaving now? She'd wanted to be free for weeks. And now she could go free and something was gluing her to her spot on John's deck. 

She knew deep down it was because John had treated her as more of a human being towards the end of her captivity than the resistance ever had in her time since being roped in with them. With the exceptions of Pratt and Hudson most of them just looked at her as a weapon. Someone to utilize for missions. Not an equal. If it wasn't for her friends from Hope County that had become like family and joined the resistance she would want no part of it. 

How had she gotten to this point? She was going to miss talking to John fucking Seed. The man who had kidnapped and tormented her for days before he even gave her any semblance of free will. 

And yet, here she was. Glued in place, not quite ready to walk away from the ranch John Seed called home and head back to the resistance. 

"Go on then" John broke her train of thought, his tone laced with anger. She watched him motion to the tree line "Get the fuck out of here." John scowled as she continued to ignore him. "Its the will of the father after all." He continued to complain. This time in a mocking tone. 

Clara felt the breeze of the cool night air on her face and couldn't be bothered by John's pissy attitude. He had been acting like there was a dark cloud over his head ever since Joseph told him he was to let her free. "What are you waiting for?" John snapped at her. "You've been wanting to go for weeks. Now you get to, so go." 

"I'm enjoying the fresh air if that's okay with you?" Clara raised an eyebrow at him. "Someone had me locked indoors for weeks." 

"Wouldn't you rather enjoy it far away from me?" John scoffed. "I figured you'd be sprinting away from me by now. Desperate to get away from your most hated enemy." 

"You're not my most hated enemy" Clara laughed even harder when John looked confused and almost annoyed by her statement. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I said you're not my most hated enemy." 

"And who the fuck is?" 

"You sound jealous." 

"I'm not jealous." John narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm  just curious." 

"I hate Jacob far more than you. Jacob is an asshole." 

"Jacob didn't have you kidnapped for weeks. Jacob hasn't even hurt you." 

"Oh my god, you  _ are _ jealous" Clara giggled at the clearly offended Seed brother. "Sorry. You're the worst person I've ever met by far John." 

"I'm not fucking jealous. I just don't get why you hate Jacob more than me." 

"I don't really hate you." The admission escaped her lips before she thought about it. She immediately regretted it. 

John looked as shocked by the confession  as she was. "I mean... I don't  _ like _ you either." She attempted to fix her mistake, desperately trying to find the words to dig herself back out of this hole. 

"You should really get going. Your friends have been looking for you for weeks. They'll be happy to see their good little soldier has returned to them. And by tomorrow you'll be back to fucking everything up for us and Joseph will be wishing he'd listened to me and had kept you prisoner." 

"That's probably right." She agreed with a small smile. 

"Seriously, get the fuck out of here" John shoved her towards the stairs to get her to go.  "Stop lingering already."

"Don't push me" she turned around and shoved him back. "I don't even understand you. You're fine one minute and then the biggest asshole seconds later." 

"My babysitting shift is over" John shot back. "I'd like to get this over with and get you out of my hair."

"Your babysitting shift?" She glared at him. "You're the one who brought me here. I didn't ask to come be stuck with you for two fucking weeks." She stepped into him, her anger getting the better of her now. 

"I did what I had to to try to impress Joseph and get you on our side." 

"That makes sense I guess. Because that's  all you care about right? Impressing Joseph." 

"Don't act like you know me." 

"I think I probably know you better than both of your brothers do." She shot back. She watched as wrath swirled in his blue eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong John. Go ahead and lie." 

"you don't know me." He repeated, his words ice cold. She met his gaze with a hard stare of her own and held her ground. "I think you know that's a lie." 

Clara didn't even know what came over her. It was the last thing she should do. The last thing she should even want to do. But she stood on her tip toes and grabbed him, pulling his face down to hers in a rough kiss. John stiffened and she waited for him to throw her off of him. To push her away or tell her she was disgusting and to get off him. 

Instead his hands gripped her waist so tightly it was almost painful and he spun her around, slamming her against the wall and nearly knocking the wind out of her as he kissed her back hard.  _ Leave it to John to almost hurt her even when he kissed her. _

She reacted in kind, grabbing his vest and pulling him even closer to her as she deepened the kiss, groaning as he pressed his hips against her own. 

"In the house" John growled a command against her lips. 

"What's wrong" Clara breathed out as he lowered his lips to her neck and bit down just hard enough to elicit a small yelp. "Worried one of your brothers will see you and know you're not a perfect angel?" 

John ignored her taunt and lifted her up, tossing her over his shoulder. "I should have known you can never just make anything easy." He complained, walking into the ranch and towards a set of stairs. When they finally made it to a large bedroom he tossed her onto the bed and slammed the door, locking it behind him. 

John crossed the room to her, his whole expression darkening as he took her in.  Clara shook, her nerves and the anticipation getting to her as he took his time slowly unbuttoning his vest. He tossed the vest to the floor and climbed onto the bed, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her, his tongue slipping deep into her mouth and his hands holding her waist. 

She let a soft moan escape her lips as John's lips moved back to her neck, his hands sliding behind her and pressing her tight against him. She could feel his growing hardness beneath her and circled her hips, pressing down on him and eliciting a groan of pleasure that was muffled against her lips. 

She wondered how long it had been since he'd slept with anyone. She had a feeling John didn't take Joseph's rules as seriously as Joseph and Jacob. But she had a feeling he followed them enough that he wasn't sleeping around often.  _ Why do I even care?  _ Clara pushed the thought out of her mind and gasped, her surprise muffled by his lips, as John flipped her onto her back in one fluid motion. 

He pressed his hips down into her and groaned as she lifted her hips to meet his. Clara reached for his shirt and began hastily unbuttoning it, desperate to pull it off of him. John stopped her and ripped it open, sending buttons flying and throwing it to the ground. "I'll buy a new one." He grumbled before moving to her neck, sucking and nipping just above her collarbone. 

His hands made their way to the bottom of her shirt and he pulled it over her head, his lips tracing down her neck to her cleavage. She shivered and arched her back into him as he ran his tongue along the skin just above the cup of her bra. As she arched her back he expertly unhooked her bra and threw it somewhere across the room. 

Clara reached for his belt buckle and he stopped her, swatting her hand away. "Patience." He whispered, his breath hot against her ear. 

"Not my strong suit." She complained, pouting out her lower lip. 

"Yeah I've noticed" John smiled down at her. "Which makes it all the more fun to make you wait." 

"You're such a bastard" she rolled her eyes. "You sound less like you mean it than normal" John laughed and pulled her into another drawn out kiss. When he broke away she attempted to pull him back, not ready to stop kissing him. 

John smirked as he ducked out of her grasp and trailed kisses back down her chest, his tongue swirling over her nipple before moving  lower. He paused above her jeans and unbuttoned them, sliding them down so she was only in her underwear. 

She hated feeling so exposed when he was still wearing his jeans, but she barely had time to process that before John was sliding her underwear off also. He trailed slow kisses up her thigh until she was practically begging him for any kind of release. 

"Do you want me?" John asked, his fingers ghosting over her, teasing her. 

"Yes" Clara answered quickly. 

"Yes what?" John eyed her, his pressure of his fingers increasing and earning a low moan. 

"I'm not saying yes sir or something stupid" Clara breathed out her reply. 

"I was looking for a yes please, you heathen." 

Clara couldn't help but laugh at his comment. One thing she'd learned in her time as his prisoner was that John really did have a wicked sense of humor. "Bite me." She shot back before another small moan escaped her lips. 

She gasped in surprise and pain as John bit her inner thigh, pressing his lips to the mark gently before smirking up at her. "Dont ask for things you don't mean." 

"I'm not complaining" she countered. 

John grinned at the remark and shook his head. "I'm almost positive you were put on this earth just to fuck my life up." 

"Seems logical. Since I'm the one who kept you locked up in a bunker for wee-" she was cut off by John lowering his mouth between her legs, his hands moving to lift her legs over his shoulders. 

"Holy fuck" Clara breathed out sharply, her back arching as a loud moan escaped her lips. She couldn't tell if she was just so deprived of any human contact that it felt especially good or if John was just that skilled. It was probably a mix of the two. 

She bit back another loud moan and John stopped and gave her a sharp look, his fingers circling her and taking the place of his mouth as he reprimanded her. "I want to hear you." She nodded and tossed her head back, closing her eyes as he lowered his mouth to her again. 

"Fuck... John" she moaned out his name loudly. That seemed to be enough to set him off. He sat up and worked at removing his belt and pants quickly. She let her eyes trace over his abs into a cut v dipping into his boxer briefs.

Clara sat forward and reached for him, stopping his hands before he worked his boxers off also. "Let me" she requested, meeting his eyes. He surprisingly listened and let her guide  him onto his back. She ran her hand over his abs, tracing them with her fingers and when she reached his boxers she slowly peeled them off, watching as he sprung free. 

"Come here" John reached for her and pulled her on top of him. She guided herself down onto him and moaned as she adjusted to his size. John's head tilted back and she lowered her lips to his neck as she rode him. 

His hands dug into her waist and she was almost positive it would leave bruises. Just more to go along with the rest of her collection of bruises and marks he'd left. At least these ones would be a positive memory.

John released his grip on her hips to grab her hands, moving them to his throat. She remembered his taunt what felt like forever ago when he mentioned he was into choking. Clearly he hadn't been joking. 

John closed his eyes and let out a loud moan as his hands went back to gripping her hips tightly. She relished in the satiated look on his face. He actually looked peaceful for once. 

John pulled her down to him and fluidly rolled her onto her back. "Choke me" she breathed out the request. John's eyes lit up and he looked her over curiously. "Do it. Don't talk a big game about all the things you'd do to me and then not follow through." 

John's lips curved into a wicked smile and he nodded. "I hope you know what you're asking." His hand slid to her throat and cut off her air supply as he increased his pace. 

She closed her eyes and let the intensity of the sensations wash over her. She felt John's grip loosen on her throat and gasped for air as he increased his pace. 

She reached up for him, her nails digging into his back as he thrust even deeper into her. "John" his name barely left her lips before his lips crashed to her own again. His hands tangled in her hair and he yanked her head back, exposing her throat as he once again choked her, this time more firmly. The sensations were enough to send her over the edge and her nails raked down his back as she let out a loud orgasm. 

John quickly followed suit after a few more thrusts and collapsed next to her on the large bed. "I think you cut open my back." She noticed he didn't seem upset by the statement. 

"Let me see" Clara motioned for him to flip onto his stomach. Sure enough there were a few deeper claw marks down his back that had drawn blood and a few others that were just raised angry red marks. "Yeah, you're bleeding a little." 

"Good." John rolled onto his back once again and smirked up at her. "So how long have you been wanting to do that?"

"Don't push your luck" Clara sighed. "I don't even know why I just did that." 

"It just sure felt like it was a long time coming. That's all." She should have known John Seed would never be the type to drop anything. "It wasn't." She replied quickly. 

"You ready for round two?" John's lips found their way back to her neck, his hand sliding over her, tracing her curves. She felt herself melting back into him and fought against it. 

"I should go" Clara protested. She moved to get away from him but John wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him so her back was flush against him. "You don't need to go." He mumbled, voice dropping low with lust. 

"I do need to." She apologized and tried to separate from him but could feel her willpower fading as his lips traveled down her neck and over her shoulders. 

"Leave in the morning. You've been here for weeks. What's a few more hours?" John spun her around and kissed her, his tongue parting her lips and dissolving any willpower she had remaining. 

Why was she even letting him have this effect on her? She knew this was wrong. They'd been trying to kill each other for weeks and now she'd just decided to jump his bones instead? 

She was fucked in the head. John was gorgeous, sure, but he'd just kept her prisoner for weeks. And yet, she couldn't find the will to walk away right now.

John easily pulled her on top of him once again. ”This isn't happening again after tonight." She warned him. "In the morning I have to go and we need to pretend this never happened." 

"In the morning we pretend it never happened" John agreed. He pushed himself up so he was sitting with her straddling him. "But for now, how about I make sure it's a little harder for you to forget?" John kissed her slowly, his hands gently gliding over her back and resting on her hips once again as she guided herself back onto him. 

"I guess I can't stop you from trying" Clara gave in easily, breathing her response out between lingering kisses. 

In the morning she'd slip out before he woke up and force herself to never think about any of this again. No one could find out what happened on either side of the conflict. But right now she didn't care. Right now the only thing on her mind was John and how much more she wanted him to do to her.


	7. Chapter 7

Clara looked down at her radio, cursing the silence it brought. What had she even become? Why did she care if John Seed talked to her over the radio? For weeks she had wished he would just stop and leave her alone and now he had and she was... she didn't know _what_ she was. Angry? Annoyed? Bored? Maybe all three and then some. 

She'd apparently grown accustomed to his late night calls. She never slept well, and it appeared he didn't either because he would always take the chance to see if she was awake and bother her. And as much as his calls annoyed her and she told herself she only answered to try to annoy him back the truth was they also took her mind off things. 

And now it had been damn near two weeks since she had gotten a word from him. At first she assumed he was just taking the 'we'll forget what happened thing' seriously like she had hoped and had given her some space. 

Now she was just annoyed with him. She wasn't looking for him to call and declare his love or anything gross like that. But apparently she didn't even rank high enough for him to even annoy her any more. 

She'd made the mistake of sleeping with someone who was admittedly her enemy and now she was mad that he was acting like a douchebag. This was one hundred percent her fault. 

But it didn't stop her from being mad that he just dropped her as if she was nothing. She'd even blown up a few of his silos and hadn't heard from him. 

"Hey whitehorse." She called out over the radio, hoping the older man would be nearby. Sure enough, a few seconds later his crackling voice rang back. "What's up kid?" 

"Did we ever get any intel on what's been going on with John Seed. He's seemed to drop off the face of the earth, which seems questionable and like something we should maybe look into."

"We did. Eli reported back to us that he's actually been up in the whitetails with Jacob for at least a week." Whitehorse answered. After a pause he continued, his voice more gentle. "Look, kid, I know you want your revenge for what he did to you. But going at him when he's with Jacob is probably not the best idea. I don't want anything happening to you again." 

She felt a tug of guilt at his words. If only he knew the real reason she was so concerned about where John was. And that it had more to do with her wanting to punch him for being a fuckboy, than it did her getting revenge for being held captive by him for two weeks. That said a lot more about her than she was ready to delve into at the moment. 

"It can't be good that the two are up there together."

"Not likely. But it's not something it would be wise to look into probably so please take care of yourself." 

"I will, I promise." She knew it wasn't a true promise she could make when she was out risking her life daily. But Whitehorse had become almost like a father figure to her. He was one of the good ones in the resistance, and she tried to make him worry as little as possible. 

He'd actually cried when she returned from being held captive by John and had hugged her tightly for what felt like an uncomfortably long time. He'd assumed John had killed her, and had been overwhelmed when she returned. Since then she'd tried not to make the older man worry as much. 

"Night Whitehorse."

"Night Rook, take care of yourself okay."

"You too." She switched the radio over to the station John normally called her on and pressed the button to emit static a few times, hoping maybe he'd hear and she could tell him off if he answered. 

But as usual, nothing happened. 

_Why am I just sitting here and being mad?_ the thought crept into her head and she couldn't shake it out. She knew where he was. And better yet, a bad idea popped into her head and she knew just how to get his attention. 

_Jacob_. 

The youngest Seed brother had made it clear, even if he didn't mean to, that he was at least marginally jealous of his older brother. So if he wanted to ignore her, she could just give Jacob her attention instead. And she knew just the way to get Jacob Seed's attention.

She was glad she'd ventured out alone tonight. She wouldn't have to send one of her animal companions back to one of the bases and wouldn't have to worry anyone as to why she'd dismissed them. Because she was about to do something dumb. 

She hopped on her ATV and hightailed it to the Whitetails region. She knew Jacob had a giant house on a compound near the edges of the region, but the thing was damn near a fortress. But he had a small outpost down the road from it for extra security. And it would be perfect. 

She ditched the ATV when she was nearby and hiked towards the outpost until she could make it out with her binoculars. It was watched by no more than ten men. If she could clear it out quickly with no alarms she could pull off her plan perfectly. She pulled out her bow and crept closer, using the dark of the night and the relative thickness of the forest to hide. 

She picked off a few men with the bow as she made her way into the small outpost. Four large metal RV's were spaced out blocking off the road, with men watching the perimeter and making sure no one could get down the road to Jacob's house. Once she had narrowed it down to less than five men she went ahead and set to dispatching them more quickly with her rifle and set to work. 

She found crates of weapons and ammo and loaded up on anything she could need and dumped the rest into a pile. Once she had cleared out the boxes she arranged them on the road. After dousing it with lighter fluid she stood back and fired a flaming arrow into one of the boxes, setting the formation ablaze. 

"Hey Jacob, I have a little surprise for you, you may want to check the outpost down the road." She called over the radio, hoping he would hear. For extra measure she pulled the alarm for the outpost and hurried into the woods. Now she just waited for the reaction from both men. 

******

John had been relaxing in the lounge of Jacob's house, the two of them working on some plans Joseph had asked them to draw up for a new bunker. He'd been here for nearly two weeks now, working closely with his older brother to design the large bunker. 

"Hey Jacob, I have a little surprise for you, you may want to check the outpost down the road." He almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of the Deputy's voice ringing loud over Jacob's radio. 

He glanced over at his brother, who was smiling, an amused twinkle in his eye as he stood up and walked over to grab the radio from a nearby table. "Well, I do love surprises Deputy."

"Yeah, well, you're going to _really_ love this one. Though it's probably better from above. Over and out." 

"Let's go. Time to go see what the Deputy left for me this time." 

"This time?" John's fist clenched at his side at the comment. 

"She leaves surprises for me constantly to try to rile me up. It's pretty cute." Jacob laughed, a smirk clear on his lips. "We have a little back and forth going."

"Of course you do." John sighed, trying to play off the anger bubbling in him as annoyance. "I doubt Joseph would approve."

"I doubt you'd tell him." Jacob shot back with a sharp glare. "Let's go." Jacob lead them out to a helicopter and let John take the wheel. He knew John loved flying. Sure, helicopters weren't his favorite, but Jacob knew enough to just let John fly and not deal with an argument. As soon as they were off the ground they could make out a large fire in the distance. 

John pretended he didn't see the way Jacob's eyes lit up in amusement at the sight of it. Once they got closer, John's blood really began to boil. She'd arranged crates into a giant heart and set it ablaze. 

"Holy shit." Jacob grinned down at the wreckage, the fire lighting up his eyes as he stared down at it. "I think I may have a crush on the deputy." He laughed loudly and shook his head at the sight below them. "She knows the way to my heart, that's for sure." 

John clenched the wheel tightly, doing his best to take a deep breath and steady himself. "You don't have a crush on the deputy. She's an ssshole."

"She's a fun asshole though." Jacob used binoculars to scan the scene below. "I'm going to enjoy breaking her."

"You enjoy breaking everyone." John grumbled a moody reply. He couldn't believe she was really up here in the Whitetails trying to get Jacob's attention now. 

So she what? Just figured she'd fuck him and move on to his brother? The thought sent white hot rage coursing through him and he had to reign it back in again. 

"Oh deputy." Jacob called over the radio, his voice gravely and far too flirtatious for John's liking. "I got your message. And I can tell you, I'm a fan. But if you want to get my attention all you have to do is ask."

"I'm okay for now, but thanks anyways." The deputy rang back, her response putting an even bigger smile on Jacob's face. "I just wanted to throw in a little foreplay." 

"Just wait Deputy. We'll have lots of fun together."

"I'm great at waiting." John heard a familiar twinkle of mischief in her voice and clenched his jaw. _She wasn't great at waiting for anything. Who was she kidding?_ "Goodbye Jacob." 

"Until next time Deputy." Jacob rang back. He called over the radio for men to hurry to the outpost and put out the blaze and then ordered John to take them back to his compound. 

"What are you going to do?" John asked his older brother once they had landed. Jacob was practically buzzing with excitement by the turn of events. 

"I'm not going to do anything tonight. But I am going to go fine tune my plans for the deputy. Once I have her, everything needs to be perfect."

"So I'm going to assume you're done working on the plans for the Bunker tonight?" John crossed his arms over his chest and leveled his brother with an annoyed stare. 

"Relax John" Jacob laughed and reached over to his brother, purposefully messing up his hair. "The bunker is nearly done. You can work on it some more tonight if you want to. It'll be done by tomorrow I'm sure. Just relax for once. Go smoke some of that weed I know you have with you. You're too on edge."

"I am not on edge" John argued. His features twisted into an annoyed frown. "I just want to finish these plans like Joseph asked us to do."

"They'll be done by tomorrow. And then you can go back to your fancy ranch house and life of luxury I know you've been missing. It'll be okay John." 

"They better be done by tomorrow, I have things to do back in Holland Valley." _Like have a talk with a certain asshole deputy_. 

"You have my word John, now can you please unwind a little bit?" He knew his brother was purposefully trying to taunt him. 

Him and Jacob had always been the closest when they were younger, and as such they had always worked the hardest to piss each other off as well. Joseph, then and now, had always been the mediator. 

"Yeah, sure. Go draw up your grand plans for breaking the Deputy. Have fun with that." 

"Oh, I will." Jacob clapped his hand on John's shoulder and smiled. "Goodnight brother."

"Yeah, goodnight." John answered with a short nod. He watched his brother walk away, whistling some tune as he disappeared into the house. 

John stared off into the distance at the large plume of smoke rising from the Deputy's little art piece for Jacob. He had half a mind to go find her. He knew she had to be close by still, and she was likely alone if she was riling up Jacob. He knew most of the resistance higher ups probably wouldn't think too highly of the little stunt she had just pulled. 

But he knew better. Eli's whitetail militia were too present in this area, and they had cameras everywhere. Jacob knew about it and used that knowledge to hack into the cameras and watch them as well. 

John had just as much a chance of running into an ambush as he did of tracking Clara down. He'd have to wait until he got back to Holland Valley to deal with this little Deputy problem. 

He knew he shouldn't risk it, but he couldn't help it. He dialed the radio over to his usual preferred station and growled out a warning. "If you're listening to this _Deputy_ just know this little game you're playing at has consequences." 

"Who's this?" Her voice rang back immediately, playing at feigned ignorance. "The voice sounds familiar but I don't know, I can't quite place it."

"Just wait until I get back to Holland Valley." 

" _Ohhh_ , it's John. Here I thought you fell off the face of the earth or had forgotten about me." 

"Just wait..." He growled a warning into the radio. 

"Waiting isn't my strong suit." 

"Yeah, I've noticed." 

"If you were really that annoyed you'd find me now" Clara taunted him. She was playing at a dangerous game tonight. "But you won't will you? You'll stay locked up tight on Jacob's compound."

"Careful what you ask for Deputy." John's fist tightened around the radio as he realized she had known he was here when she set the heart shaped blaze for Jacob. 

"I'll be waiting. Bye John." He heard her radio click off and fought the urge to throw the one in his hand. 

He knew he should stay put. He shouldn't let her sucker him into this. For all he knew it was just as much a trap as when he'd had her come to the processing plant to save Hudson.

He should stay on Jacob's compound and finish these plans for Joseph. He'd have to wait until he got back to his own area to deal with her. And even better, it would make her wait, and she would hate that. 

His eyes lingered on the tree line and he struggled with whether to go find her or not. He knew he shouldn't, but he wanted to. 

But what would he even do to her if he did find her? Yell at her for flirting with Jacob? That hardly seemed appropriate given the agreement that they'd never talk about what happened between them or have it happen again. 

It was still fucked up for her to just move on to flirting with Jacob. And he didn't care if she knew that's how he felt about it. 

Fuck it, he wanted to find her tonight. Hopefully Jacob would be too preoccupied with his plans for her to pay attention to the cameras or notice John was gone. 

And if he did notice John was gone and spotted them talking John would be in deep shit. There'd be no easy way to explain why he'd snuck off into the woods in the middle of the night to confront the Deputy. John sighed, his shoulders deflating in defeat. He'd just have to wait until he was back in Holland Valley. And when he was, he'd definitely be letting her get a taste of his wrath. 


End file.
